On episode five of Mike vs. The World, we talked about the fifth season of Game of Thrones. We attempted to come up with a top five or even top three list of the most shocking moments, but had a tough time agreeing. So, I decided to look at the facts and come up with my personal top 10 most shocking moments of the show for your reading pleasure.
~ ~ ~ ALL THE SPOILERS EVER FOLLOW ~ ~ ~
10. SANSA'S WEDDING NIGHT
Littlefinger (the most untrustworthy character ever created in all of literature) sets his beloved Sansa up with Ramsay Bolton, the sexual deviant, penis chopping, sociopath of the north to help unite the Kingdom. What could go wrong, right? Sansa’s wedding night was shocking, but not because it was out of character for Ramsay to do what he did, even making Theon (Reek) watch, but it was shocking because it was such a departure from the books. Many believe, myself included, there was no reason to use rape as a plot point here, Sansa had already suffered enough.
9. OH BLACKWATER, KEEP ON BURNIN'
Blackwater, season 2: episode 9, may be one of the best episodes in the history of television, period. Stannis and his huge navy sailing to King’s Landing and the battle that followed was so well done it’s scary. The shocking thing is that Stannis lost the battle he should have easily won. Due to the clever planning of Tyrion using the Wildfire to destroy half of Stannis’ ships, and his father Tywin showing up at the last minute with his army, they saved King’s Landing from capture and siege.
8. THE VIPER'S HEADACHE
Gruesome doesn’t do this moment justice. Oberyn “The Red Viper” Martell was seconds away from winning the trial by combat for Tyrion against Queen Cersei's champion “The Mountain" Ser Gregor Clegane. His speed and cunning were huge weapons against the lumbering Mountain … but in true Martell fashion, he got cocky, and then he literally got his head crushed by the Mountains bare hands. Oh yeah, and HBO showed it, in all it’s glory. WOW. This leads to a shocking moment not on the list, with Tyrion having to kill both his lover Shea and father Tywin in order to escape the city with the help of his brother Jaime and Varys the Spider.
7. STANNIS FIRES HIS DAUGHTER
It’s hard to find and stick with someone to root for in Game of Thrones (As upcoming entries on this list will show) … but Stannis seemed to be a decent choice. He had some honor, had a rightful claim to the throne, and seemed to be a “somewhat” ok guy. Then in season 5: episode 9 it all fell apart, quickly. With his army dieing in the blizzard-conditions of the north, awaiting to march on Winterfell, he felt he had to do something drastic. Convinced by the Red Lady Melisandre, Stannis burned his own daughter alive to sacrifice her to the Lord of Light to aid in their conquest of Westeros. Talk about your all time backfires. Half of Stannis’ army deserted him, his wife hang herself, and once the remaining men got to Winterfell, they were slaughtered by the much larger (and waiting) Bolton army. Stannis dies, and I'll bet he didn't see that one in the fire.
6. THEON, LORD AND MASTER OF WINTERFELL
In season two, Robb Stark sends his friend Theon back to his homeland of the Iron Islands to try and get the Greyjoys to join the northern army and fight under King Robb. When he gets there, Theon is instead shamed by his father and sister, and convinced to rebel instead. He betrays the Starks, successfully captures a vulnerable Winterfell, and does a really terrible job beheading Winterfell’s knight, Sir Muttonchops. It doesn’t last long, as Robb Stark sends the Boltons to retake Winterfell. The Boltons retake Winterfell and capture Theon without a fight, and Ramsay gets him as his own little play-thing. Also, make sure not to ask Theon Greyjoy how he pees these days.
5. JOFFREY GETS COLD "EVERYTHING" AT HIS WEDDING
The biggest “cock”roach of the story finally meets his maker at the beginning of season 4. Just when you think that King Joffrey will be the last person standing in Westeros, he is poisoned to death at his own wedding, seemingly by Lady Tyrell and Littlefinger. This event proves that not all shocking moments in Game of Thrones are bad, as we all let out a collective cheer watching good ol' Jeffy turn purple, bleed from his eyes and nose, and then croke. Good riddens to that bag of dicks.
4. FALLIN' (NOT RAISEN) BRAN
Little 10-year-old Bran climbed up to the wrong window in the wrong tower in the very first episode of the show. He got an eye-full of the Queen getting all sweaty with her own brother and member of the Kingsguard Jaime. And what does he get for seeing this? Well, a healthy shove from about 30 feet up by Jamie, who I’m assuming went right back to what he was doing to avoid the royal blueballs. Bran survived and didn’t remember what happened, but this act set the entire tone for the series as nothing, and no one, was deemed sacred.
3. YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW
You could almost say the top 3 most shocking moments are interchangeable, as they essentially represent the same act carried out 3 ways. Jon Snow’s death at the very end of season 5 was particularly hard as he was one of the last people the fans of the show had their faith in. After losing nearly everyone else, Jon Snow was to be the Champion of Westeros. Instead, he was betrayed by his brothers of the Night’s Watch and repeatedly stabbed to death for allying with the Wildlings against the true threat to the world, the White Walkers. After this season, there are literally only a couple of people left to root for, and I truly fear for their lives.
2. IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A RED WEDDING
Holy crap, weddings in Game of Thrones end as well as weddings in the WWE. This was a tale of those who read the books and those who didn’t, and the reactions on Facebook and youtube were something to behold. Rob Stark was the King of the North, a moral compass to look to, and he was in love with a nurse who he met on the battlefield. Unfortunately, he was already betrothed to a daughter of Walder Frey in order to forge an alliance with his followers. This led to arguably the largest betrayal of the season (maybe ever) as The Freys, Boltons, and Lannisters collaborated to murder Rob Stark, his wife and unborn child, and his Mother Catelyn at the wedding of Roose Bolton and another of Walder Frey’s daughters. The event was known as “The Red Wedding,” and it turned the entire momentum of the war from the Stark’s favor to King Joffrey and Tywin Lannister’s. And to make it worse, all the murders were beyond gruesome, especially the repeated stabbing of Robb Stark’s pregnant wife’s belly. ::shudders::
1: THE EDDARDLY BEHEADING
“Ned” was the main character of the show, someone who everyone liked and could root for, and he made everyone around him better. He was freaking Captain Westeros for god’s sake. Loyal to a fault, Ned tried to unearth the truth about Jamie fathering Cersei’s children. If Joffrey wasn't King Robert's real son, he had no claim to the throne after Robert's death. While totally true and just, all this did was piss everyone off who already had power, and it landed him in jail and eventually on the executioner’s block for treason.
And just when you thought that Queen Mother Cersei was going to let Eddard live and carry out his sentence of treason on the Wall as a member of the Night’s watch (To hopefully hold the peace of Westeros … you know, the smart move), King Joffrey makes the call to have him killed anyway.
CHOP, no more head for Ned. This then sets the war of Five Kings into motion and sets the precedence for the show that NO ONE is safe. The most shocking moment of the series for me ...why? Because it dulls the shock of every moment that follows. If they can kill Freaking Ned Stark, they’ll freaking kill anyone. And they have.
Make sure to listen to episode 5 of Mike vs. the World
Mike vs. Game of Thrones
